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Has-beens tell many tales and practically all bend the truth - but funny - no one seems to notice.
Still, at a recent gathering of our has-been crowd I overheard a conversation between two spouses of has-beens that went like this:
Spouse 1 (speaking low): "They tell these same stories every year."
Spouse 2 (eyes rolling): "I know - don't they realize?"

We do realize - sort of - but doesn't everyone just love to hear these stories? And don't the listeners think that we, the tellers, are just a bit more special (read, cool) after hearing these tales? Don't they?



Into the Breach by Milton

The Fedora by Milton

Hands Like Henry by Milton

Oafs Go Deep by Milton

Georgia Baseball by Milton

Hemorrhoids by Milton

LeanAndRest by Milton

The Connoisseur by Milton




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Tall Tales
Oft Told [Tall] Tales
Got a tall tale to tell? email any and all

"HEMORRHOIDS" by Milton
Late season scrum one afternoon at practice. Under the lights, cool and damp. Big collision, with the typical pile of humanity as the aftermath. Some moaning from the bottom of the stack. Bodies peel off, leaving one face down on the turf. It's Larko. Trainers now on the scene, crouched down, soon enclosed by a circle of the curious. Coach Leck on the fringe, up on the balls of his feet, peering over the shoulder pads and past the helmets. Medics to Larko, "Where is it hurting, Andy?" In response, "Aaaaugh, my hemorrhoids", groans our Chairman. Immediate hoots of laughter all around. Coack Leck strides briskly away. Eyes dancing, face twitching, about to break up with mirth. Using every ounce of self-control to avoid laughing at the distress of one of his players. He barely succeeds.

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